A season of first family challenges, in a season of change

This year was one filled with challenges. One where I am reminded of frequently with the people I am working with in the adoption triad. They vary greatly from adopted mother’s looking on behalf of their adopted children, to adoptees searching for their first family, to birthmother’s looking for their children relinquished to adoption, and finally with adults who were separated from their birth mother or father from a very young age looking for them now.

Each have a very personal perspective, and everyone of them seeking their blood relatives out for different meaningful reasons. Some have found one or more close family, others close cousins, and a few have seen hopes rise and fall as results have proven one path or another to become unsuccessful grasping for the truth.

The good news is that none are at, what I would deem, a brick wall. In the course of a few months at least two have seen close cousins pop-up in their existing results as new people get their DNA tests conducted at random out in the community. Yet even those have proven challenging to wait for a responses from attempts to reach out to these newfound relatives.

I have seen one find a birth parent. Although hesitate to reach out to half-siblings. Even as the genealogy makes progress on one level or another, patience is certainly got to be on people’s minds as they try and limit their hopes so as not to be dashed by unforeseen outcomes. I know how it can weigh favorable one day, then the next be drawn thin by limited progress, that strains the emotions back and forth. Especially as the holidays approach, it seems inevitable that we all should be wary to surround ourselves with the blessings we already have in our lives.

Some of us who live in regions where the season also brings a change in the climate, especially the cold of winter, must also contend with the challenges to keep healthy and warm. The reality of searching for birth family does not let up or give us a break when the day-to-day challenges require our attention. It seems unfair that when we do feel down, sometimes it can be amplified with distractions of daily living.

Despite being brought up in the past, I encourage everyone to have an outlet that is not just focused on his or her search, as tempting as it might be. It is not that I am being approached frequently with heartache and requests for support. I just recall my day-to-day feelings swinging like a pendulum on an old clock, so I can only assume it does so similarly with others.