The miracles of coincidence

One thing I try to impress upon people who are looking for birth family is the mere action of remaining involved in their search can bring about miracles they never thought possible. I cannot tell you how many books I have read on the subject of adoptee searches, but one thing remains a constant that had they not been in a certain place, at a certain time, with whatever evidence they had, would they not have come across the last bit of information that led to the truth they were seeking.

Call it weird science or dedication; people always have a story to retell when it comes to finding birth relatives. It is not like adoptees or those seeking their children lost to adoption have exclusive rights on miracles. However, there is never a search I have worked with that did not have at least one odd coincidence that opened up discoveries, that left as is, would never have surfaced with an active investigation.

Some may just chalk it up as good luck. Other’s Gods will. Yet even more may just be content with a discovery that just seemed left there to be found by anyone willing to look. However, one cannot keep rationalizing these occurrences as dumb luck, when they keep happening over and over. You start to feel that at the root of an adoptees search is something special in the making, when these occurrences transpire search after search. As if we are all truly connected and merely looking stirs something half way across the planet to stop and take notice.

Call it what you want, but I like that it keeps happening. For me it is only a matter of patience and effort. The journey is a teacher and the goal, while started as a dream before memory manifested in an infants mind, makes it’s way back to the source.

A little saying I made up as a teenager was, “why chance a recovery when there is no prize? To give up and live, or start and survive.” As I aged and learned to listen to my thoughts as an adult, I realized this was my little mantra to encourage myself to stay the course and not give in to mediocrity of taking no risks by following my own path.