Investing in a search for family means something different to each adoptee. There are those who have marginalized it to fulfill a handful of simple questions. Others hope to find answers about an intangible need that they anticipate will be resolved upon making contact with their birth family.
To say that a journey to find the answers that lay just beyond one’s conception would not become a rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs would be an inadequate portrayal of the truth. There are times when we feel right as rain, and other days when it becomes difficult to keep the darkness from becoming unavoidably miserable.
One needs to not allow tired faith to erode and become too thin. It is key to keep our attitude in check and not give in to ride our wave of emotions down into the gloom. Mentioned previously tools like literature or activities that can lift our spirits and rekindle hope are necessary to bring us back into alignment. As sobering a thought as it is to think we will need an emotional balance to manage on our search for family, thinking it will not occur is foolish and ill advised.
Attitude has a lot to do with perspective and outlook on the challenges we will face. Becoming and active participant will help alleviate the dependency of results coming from your genealogist guide. Spreading your days amongst other activities will also help moderate the need to find progress being made so important.
Once we acquire the genetic evidence to support building out our family tree, it really is an exercise in patience to grind through building out until dates, names or evidence can align with information known by the adoptee. Picking up some fluency on genealogy is not hard, it just takes practice an adequate effort placed on documenting the truth. Learning the basics of adding and removing someone from our family tree is all one has to acquire in the beginning. If we are working with an Ancestry.com subscription then there are plenty of free resources to teach you the fundamentals.
It does feel very awkward to entertain the thought of building out a family tree, as an adoptee it is a foreign and wholly unnecessary skill that none of us have entertained most of our lives. There are those few who have become very akin to our adopted families and have spent time learning genealogy, but many of those have never chosen to acknowledge the need to explore birth family as they have grown accustomed to the comfort of their first family being their adopted family.
Whether you are a newbie to genealogy or very well educated on the subject, striking a balance may help keep you from burning out. As the saying goes, burning twice as bright, usually also means, for half as long. In some ways our independent natures may be challenged to their limits because of the raw feelings that surround this poignant quest for knowledge.
Whether it becomes the awkwardness of communicating with potential genetic cousins that we reach out to on our search, or the powerful feelings we encounter, the journey can become quite difficult to manage on our own. One would be wise to even consider professional counseling while dealing with some of these hurdles that will inevitably be encountered.
No where else have I found it more true than on a search for our biological roots, where sometimes our mere ability to take this trip and face all the challenges was more a testament to our fulfillment than the actual realization of concluding our journey. Yes, without a doubt, knowing of our actual roots can be incredible to behold, but there are few times where I have witnessed a quick conclusion and knowing that, the personal investment in finding our truth can be part of the massive award that could be compared to any other marathon we’ve been tested to complete any other time in our lives.