The rights of adoptees and birth family

Today’s post is intended for my social media audience. It is anticipated to wake up the reader with the mention of mainstream, current events, because they may be unable to really easily identify with the needs of adoptees and birth families requisite basic human right to know of their ancestral roots.

I was adopted in nineteen sixty-seven. My adopted family is every sense of the word is my family. I don’t regret a single day of my life. Well, let’s be honest. We all have some days we regret, but in the sense that I would want to rewind it all and go back to the beginning knowing full well what I would miss out on, no I have no regrets.

Yet, there was a process that I wish I did not have to go through. Let me clarify that. There is a process I went through to search for my biological family. In doing so I have become so familiar with this process I run a not for profit business. That means I still pay taxes, but never solicit people for money. Ask anyone I have ever worked with and they would vouch for me. Still, in running this venture I am working diligently to assist adoptees and birth family in finding those relinquished to adoption.

I would say my situation was unique, but that would be stretching the truth. Every search is unique. Just as every outcome is too. I come from a place where I can see all the sides; those who are devout in changing the laws of each state to allow for access to our original birth certificate. I also can understand, but cannot always appreciate, the need for some to continue to hide they clouded past.

When adoptees or birth mothers go looking for one another, it is not because they are damaged goods and require fixing. Nor are they the other side of that extreme out to punish their progeny or progenitor. In laymen’s terms they are a people without a beginning. As the analogy goes, imagine for a moment having no knowledge of your family. Okay, I know, some of you are thinking something funny like you could certainly do without “so-and-so”. Yet the punch line is actually a bit more serious.

Let’s bring up something more current and controversial to the mainstream audience. Gun control! Yeah baby let’s talk the right to bare arms! Whoa, I can feel the awesome repercussions pulsing through my veins. Think now how the debate surrounds the need for serious discussion surrounding mental illness, and the need to remove an easy way for people to close out an argument on the domestic level. Bang! That’s it; I think I’ve got your attention…right? Have I given this sidetrack enough momentum to upset the readers? I sure hope so.

Hey while I have your attention, imagine having no past. No biological relatives to relate to. No similarities, except extreme coincidence to align you with your adopted families nature. Now imagine millions and millions of people like that wandering the Earth. Hey guess what?! You found us. Adoptees. We are not some extremist group. Nor do we go totting those weapons mentioned before to take out are aggression on others. Hmm wait. I have no empirical evidence that we don’t. Scratch that.

What we do want is equal rights to our original birth certificates. You know the one that let’s the rest of us know where we came from. It’s a pretty big deal to many of us. And no, you cannot shame us all into silence. We can still appreciate the life we came from and the people who raised us emphatically, but still want to know of our original birth family. What!? Yeah, see how I changed that from just wanting a birth certificate to now wanting a whole biological family to find? That’s right baby. I did that.

Sorry, my humor has a tendency to become sardonic. I apologize. No really, I mean it <fingers crossed behind back>. Seriously, I am here to tell you a lot of us are sick of waiting for legislation to happen. Yes we will be strongly encouraging politicians, who just happen to have a few adoptees in their ranks, to help us change laws, state by state. However, my passion, dare I say, my philanthropy is to defy those who wish to keep this information from us.

There are three million (plus) autosomal DNA tests in three major DNA companies already completed. Millions upon millions of records in the public domain for genealogical research, and just as many people willing to help out adoptees find their birth families. They far outnumber those still trying to hold up their precious wall of silence. Many of us come from the baby scoop era, and we are done waiting for change. In the past six months I have helped a dozen adoptees find their biological family, and I am not stopping. There are plenty more just like me, who spend countless hours burning the midnight oil uncovering more and more.

We are only getting better at doing it too. So if you are an adoptee who never thought birth family might be coming to make their attempt at contacting you, please prepare yourself. Or if you are a birth mother or father who thinks their lies covered up the trail enough on their non-identifying information handed over to the state when you relinquished your child, think again. Eventually everyone wants to know. It usually starts small, but eventually becomes an overwhelming need to know.

Is the child I gave up for adoption alive and well? Are my biological relatives like me? Both in unison ask, will they allow me back into their lives? Please ponder on these ideas. Do not be frightened, just prepare. We are coming and no law will prevent us from finding you.