Not everyday will see progress with our search for birth relatives

Sometimes the best of intensions is not realized, no matter how much we put towards an effort or cause. Mind you, that falling short on an endeavor does not mean the objective will never bear fruit, but in the midst of taking a tumble it can be difficult to see past the moment of disappointment.

While you might think there is some cure that I have turned to swing back into alignment, there are experiences that will catch you off guard. When we set the bar too high there may be just too many ends that cannot be met. Face it, sometimes one can feel drained of the enthusiasm to keep putting energy into a day where success won’t be realized. The trouble is, we usually cannot come to this conclusion until the last bit of vigor is spent and there is simply no time left to remedy the day.

Encountering blunders is never something we can look upon gracefully every time they occur. Fortunately they don’t happen that often, but brushing off your knees and accepting it with some humility does not necessarily have to mean it was a complete letdown. When nothing seems able to see progress my efforts are usually redirected to take notes about what was tried and how a search of discovery fell short. This way there may be a chance that the same misgivings can be avoided the next time a bit of research, genealogical effort, or genetic piece of information is not fully realized.

There may be more clarity on a different occasion where one might gain appreciation for the notes taken, or the insight gained, but putting in the added effort to attempt circumventing a reoccurrence that spoiled progress, may lead us past trouble down the line. At least that is how one can try and salvage our missteps, despite our feelings in the moment.

It becomes especially difficult to accept advice and perspective from someone else during these times. It is not that we cannot be thankful for the wisdom shared, but logic will not always being in the drivers seat, when emotions take hold and need to be expressed. Having someone present you with the obvious will not only make you feel inept, but also give your anger a target to express the frustration. Something we all regret later.

Although you would think knowledge is power and understanding there will be days like this it will provide us with some ability to cope or at least deal with the situation better. In a perfect world, that might be the case, but unfortunately learning to just take a hit and not throw in the towel is the best we can do. You will not always be on track. You will not always see things clearly. Sometimes stepping back to take in all that we have done may just feel overwhelming to absorb; instead of what, was hoped to be encountered, as gratification.

Humility and wisdom are not always going to be served to us on a silver platter. Sometimes it will feel more like a sucker punch to the gut, or a slap across the face.